i like my name, a lot. somehow makes me special, I thank my mom for that, I love her even more when I went to doctor here for the first time. he said my name is a common for dutch. what a visionary mother she is.
so now, from time to time, well yes almost most of the time, I am thinking a name for my child, the future one! I want her to have special name, for a girl. I care less if it is a he. well a boy is not supposed to be known for pretty name, right? Right!
but either boy or girl, I want him/her to have a bigger world than me and si ipin (stupid name,hubby!). I imagine he or she will be cruising around the globe more often that either of the parents at the same age. oh well I just have so many dreams….but yet I am still try to convince myself that labor is a piece of cake. a long way to go

why

Wonder why a woman can turn into a mother and wife, completely forgetting herself. I guess because woman is a noble creature…hem let’s see!

new

I don’t remember when was the last time I cried like last night. I had so many moments where I felt like hitting the wall, but I never cry. I never knew that I could cry for the pain from hitting the wall. this is new. it was rather painful than relieve, the crying

after the storm, the wind swept me off my feet.

still on this topic….honestly, sometimes I sit on my desk thinking who am I kidding here? you or myself?
honestly, don’t trust me! even I don’t trust me. every time the question appeared, I second question myself for the answer I gave you. But then again, a whisper tells me that it might be you, not just me. it might just be you,bebi
if only you know me better.

on marriage

I don’t remember signing a lifetime contract on these bitter sweet surprises day to day….geez!

when people starts desire for more and fails to use their own imagination properly, that’s when it turns ugly. the whole fantasy and drama going to drain. such craps they posted on youtube. drama yo drama!!!!!!!!!!!

‘your English is not very good’
can not seems to get over that comment, especially after I re-read my own writing for zillion of times now.
maybe third opinion will help.

still figuring out which word that actually hurt me the most.

teenagers

I guess when you’re young, the whole reason of life is finding the meaning of being. looking for words of wisdom about every single misery and joy happen around you. trying to find a lead to get out of confusion. being a drama queen. being over excited over nothing. being over depressed on minor accident. was it good those days? I don’t quite remember. I was always cynical and skeptic. not very easy to believe. but never once I felt at lost.

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