I was constantly questioning myself, am I a dumb or what? the last few months I felt like being un-appreciated (or whatever it names). asides from working my ass off, I don’t feel like I actually made something worth kept. was I working on rubbish? geez!
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it was not visible to anyone around me, but I was in such lazy mood this past few weeks. I just felt so unmotivated, I can not even stay still on my desk from 8 to 5. I always left the office 2-3 hours earlier.
there might be many reasons to this current mood, maybe the working atmosphere or ’something’ else. :)
but seriously, the working atmosphere has been very demotivated lately that I really want to scream out. I felt like I had it. But then again, my hands are tied, can not run away.
I am channeling all this frustration and laziness to this particular sides, I guess it’s fun to read about someone else life when you found a dead end with yours. But it’s actually no fun since I become addicted to it. and of course, forgetting what I suppose to do in the first place.
makes me feel guilty.
I try really hard to get back on my happier mood at the office, I even sit at my desk long enough to do. listing all the chores for coming weeks and try to finish them one by one. It went quite well, then around 3 pm I had the urge to just go home. and I did, after waiting for about 30 minutes (to get over my quilt) and stopped over at the IDP. oh dear Lord, what is happening to me and my body and my mood?….
guess what, home alone on nyepi. sister went to work early this morning, little cousin visited his in-laws to be since 2 days a go. and husband just left for some business meeting look alike.
I’ve been browsing this particular blog, which I am drop dead envied. how I wish to walk away from my job and find a cool freelance somewhere.
daang! everything around me is boring!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why do I feel like my life now is a constant repetition? The curve has reached the peak of excitement and slowly going down. and I am drop dead boring.
For no specific reason, I felt mentally and physically exhausted.
I don’t like going home to an angry face or unhappy mood, but I do not wish to sit here either, working on this pile of sh*t. I am just tired dealing with your mood swing, I don’t feel human!
my ’socialite wannabe’ friend told me yesterday that balenciaga bag would not fit me. the bag is too grand for me, for my personality.
and I said to myself,” right back at you,dude!” sapa ya situ?
C’mon! I would never dream to have one, but isn’t cruel to say such thing?
then he suggested me to just buy the classic long champs, and I say,” please,dude! that’s not even a bag, it’s a carrier. I’ve been to Paris, Amsterdam and London, and I know what I am saying.”
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