contradictary

i like my name, a lot. somehow makes me special, I thank my mom for that, I love her even more when I went to doctor here for the first time. he said my name is a common for dutch. what a visionary mother she is.
so now, from time to time, well yes almost most of the time, I am thinking a name for my child, the future one! I want her to have special name, for a girl. I care less if it is a he. well a boy is not supposed to be known for pretty name, right? Right!
but either boy or girl, I want him/her to have a bigger world than me and si ipin (stupid name,hubby!). I imagine he or she will be cruising around the globe more often that either of the parents at the same age. oh well I just have so many dreams….but yet I am still try to convince myself that labor is a piece of cake. a long way to go

new

I don’t remember when was the last time I cried like last night. I had so many moments where I felt like hitting the wall, but I never cry. I never knew that I could cry for the pain from hitting the wall. this is new. it was rather painful than relieve, the crying

still on marriage

still on this topic….honestly, sometimes I sit on my desk thinking who am I kidding here? you or myself?
honestly, don’t trust me! even I don’t trust me. every time the question appeared, I second question myself for the answer I gave you. But then again, a whisper tells me that it might be you, not just me. it might just be you,bebi
if only you know me better.